Thursday, November 13, 2008


My Uncle Steve is laying in a hospital right now on life support waiting on his daughter to get to Arizona to say goodbye before they take him off and let him pass. This makes me very sad. Not so much because I will miss my Uncle, I have not seen him in twenty years, it is because it is another piece of my childhood gone.
The childhood that I have been missing so much lately, the days filled with nothing but fun, a few chores, laughter, love and general happiness. When all was right with the world, and I did not have a worry in that world, at least not any more than what I was fighting with my older brother about. As I have written before, growing up in the late 60's and early 70's, was a different time. A time when it was safe to go about but I will not speak of that now. What I will speak of is the family time spent with my mom's side of the family, including Uncle Steve. He was married to the first of three wives back then, Betty. They had three kids. My Aunt Jackie and her husband Jim had two. It was so much fun to get together with the whole family for the holidays and other occasions and play with my cousins. I learned to wrestle and play rough like a boy being one of only two girls in the group. I remember being at my grandparents house and my Uncle Steve came through the door with Tracy, my cousin. She had a stuffed Eeyore that she took with her everywhere. Christmas eve's spent there opening presents, having dinner. Easter egg hunts, laughter, so many good memories. I cannot describe the feelings of peace and happiness it gives me to remember all of it.
Years later Steve and Betty divorced. Steve then married Marsha, had another cousin, Ashley. Then they divorced, and he married Melanie, and had two more cousins. Jim and Jackie divorced. The whole family was different................wrong. It wasn't the same carefree fun filled family anymore. It was changed, I was changed, my eyes were opened.
So even though I have a wonderful life, great husband and happy carefree little children I miss those days, and Steve is just another reminder of what is gone.

However, as I write this I realize that I need to stop longing for those feelings of happiness and security in the past, and enjoy the happiness I have right now with my own family. So I guess I will just focus on where I am now and what I have, and make the life of my children as great as my parents did for me. I want them to grow up happy, full of laughter and hopes for a bright future. And I will take my joy from this, because I am happy and years from now I will think of this time with my hubby and kids just like I am now thinking of my childhood.

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